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Questions
and
Answers
Since the distribution of our first, short edition, we have received
many questions asking for clarification and expansion on certain topics.
In this web page, we have included some of these in brief. In some
cases, we have combined or re-organized questions to be more concise and
clear. The responses to questions related to technical aspects of the
Here & Now meditation method are based on the actual experiences of
practitioners.
Even though we have tried to avoid discussing spiritual beliefs, we have
received quite a few questions on spirituality. These questions
indicate common concerns and needs, and thus, we have extended a small
part of the book to answer them. We have gathered the responses to these
difficult spiritual questions from many spiritual masters throughout the
world and have re-organized into the brief answers below. Hence, you
might at times recognize and notice differences among people and
traditions in the responses. However, the different backgrounds of these
responses do not change our main goal—in these questions and answers,
our goal and focus remain the same: to eliminate suffering. |
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Below are excerpts
from the Q&A section of the book:
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Trying To Achieve Stillness
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If We Don’t Think, Are We Reduced To A Lower State Of Being?
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“Wordlessness”
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Combining With Other Meditations
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Diminished Senses During Meditation
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Diminished Breathing During Meditation
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Falling Asleep During Meditation
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Stillness Versus “The Zone”
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Re-Living An Emotional Event
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Reliving Pain—Can We Erase
Memories Permanently?
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Meditate To Express Love And Forgiveness
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Can We Change Our Own Opinions?
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Can We Change Our Personality?
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Dealing With Loneliness
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Eliminating Envy And Jealousy
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The Pain Of Another’s Silence
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That’s It—Period
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I’m Right. You’re Wrong!
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The Arts Of Being Non-Reactive, Being Silent,
Listening, And Being At
Peace
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The Mind And Society
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Injured Pride
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The Mind And The Act Of Suicide
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The Right Not To Cultivate
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Giving This Book To Others
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Applying These “Lessons”
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Who’s Doing The Talking?
Q:
When practicing the Here & Now, who is telling the mind, “The body is
here?”
A:
Listen attentively to what your mind is currently talking about. Observe
where it is running back and forth to. That very “person” who is doing
the listening and observing is the person who tells the regular
mind, “The body is here.”
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Trying To Achieve Stillness
Q: During meditation, despite all of my efforts, I can’t seem to enter
the state of Stillness. My mind is so active. What should I do?
A:
“Trying hard” to enter the Stillness is still an effort, a struggle.
Instead of struggling with the mind, we just know that the universe is
Stillness. Then we can dissolve ourselves into that Stillness that is
everywhere. Completely let go of the body and thoughts. Feel the body
sinking into that “sea” of Stillness and peace.
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If We Don’t Think, Are We Reduced To A Lower State Of Being?
Q: If I am not supposed to think, does this mean I am being reduced to
the consciousness of plants or rocks?
A:
The mind in Stillness is
completely aware, serene, and fully
functional. Its “non-thinking” state means that it is unaffected by
automatic, habitual, random, and reactive thoughts and emotions. In
this state, the mind does not lose its awareness and consciousness—in
fact, awareness may even be heightened.
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“Wordlessness”
Q:
The idea of “wordlessness” is
difficult to understand. How can we
convey ideas without words?
A:
Wisdom and knowledge usually come
into being without words. Even if we are using words to understand
something, we often have flashes of understanding
unaccompanied by actual words. As we try to translate these ideas into
our spoken or written language, we are most likely falling short of
their complete meaning. Although it seems silly to try to describe the
state of wordlessness using words, we must do so here to facilitate
understanding: in Stillness, or wordlessness, the mind is in a state of
childlike innocence which does not name, analyze, or prejudge. This
mind perceives everything as new and as is.
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Combining With Other Meditations
Q:
Should we combine the Here & Now with other meditation disciplines?
A:
There are meditation methods that teach you to pay full attention to
all actions by walking gracefully, eating slowly, speaking humbly, using
kind words, shutting doors gently, etc. These are methods that help keep
the mind focused and keep us aware of what we are doing. These use outer
calmness to induce inner stillness. The Here & Now method aims directly
at inner Stillness which inevitably reduces outer activeness. Because
these are very different approaches, we would advise that they be
practiced separately even if they seem very similar.
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Diminished Senses During Meditation
Q: Why do the bodily senses often seem diminish or even absent during
this meditation?
A: When you enter the state of Stillness, you can become less aware of
the body because your mind no longer pays attention to particular
sensations. The mind is in a state of awareness of the being as a whole.
In this state, time and space can also seem suspended. This is a state
of deep restfulness for both the body and mind.
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Diminished Breathing During Meditation
Q: Why does breathing slow down during meditation? Is it harmful if
breathing decreases to a very low level?
A: When the mind and body are in a certain state of rest, the oxygen
oscillation in the body is higher than that of the normal non-meditative
state. The body is using oxygen more efficiently than usual. During
meditation, oxygen intake can decrease noticeably. Perhaps this is one
of the reasons why some yogis can stop breathing for an extraordinary
amount of time.
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Falling Asleep During Meditation
Q: Many meditation disciplines prohibit falling asleep during
meditation. However, the Here & Now meditation advocates complete
relaxation of both mind and body which can easily lead to sleeping. In
fact, some people find this meditation particularly difficult in which
to remain awake and alert. Should we try to avoid falling asleep during
meditation?
A: The Here & Now meditation purposely leads us to the state between
being awake and asleep. This state is a gateway into the subconscious.
It’s also a gateway into deep Stillness. In the beginning phase of
cultivation, the practitioner experiences deep Stillness in this state.
Later, the practitioner will experience a much more profound Stillness
where the practitioner emerges into an alert and aware state, a state of
“pure consciousness.” The “drowsy” state is a necessary beginning step.
To avoid falling asleep, try meditating after a good rest. Although you
want to avoid falling asleep during every meditation, a few lapses are
understandable and are not a major problem.
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Stillness Versus “The Zone”
Q: Is the experience of Stillness in this method similar to the
athlete’s experience of “the zone”?
A: The experience of “the zone” occurs when the athlete’s body crosses
the limits of the conscious mind and touches the “higher mind,” enabling
one to perform extraordinary bodily tasks. The experience of Stillness
can also reach this same higher mind, but it is achieved only through
the state of complete mind- and self-surrender. Thus, these two
approaches are quite different. Once we’ve achieved a Stillness where we
tame the ordinary mind and only use it at will and as needed—instead of
automatically and indiscriminately—we can learn to reach this higher
mind to tap into its potential.
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Re-Living An Emotional Event
Q: Why is it that even though I am telling the same painful past event
to others, sometimes I feel untouched by it, yet at other times I just
feel as much pain as if I am living the event right there and then? What
exactly is my mind doing here?
A: When we talk or think about an event of the past without feeling the
past emotions, we are standing as an observer. If we feel the old
emotions, we are indeed “re-living” the part being recalled by the mind.
In order to step out of this “re-living,” simply take a deep and slow
breath and enter into the Stillness of the Here & Now. In this
Stillness, we will not “re-live” any part regardless of whatever the
mind is doing. Whether talking about, reconstructing, or retrieving its
memories, the mind will not be able to touch our inner peace.
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Reliving Pain—Can We Erase
Memories Permanently?
Q: Is there a way to permanently erase emotional pains from our memory
so that we would not have to continuously cope with them?
A: Our mind records memories by linking the content of the memory with
the emotions we felt at the time, especially if they were strong or
negative emotions. This is why when we recall an event of the past, we
usually feel the same emotions again. While we can’t erase our memories,
we can separate them from the negative emotions that have been stored
along with them. We also want to “neutralize” these emotions so they no
longer evoke painful feelings. Once this is done, whenever the mind sees
or recalls past events, we no longer have to “relive” the associated
emotions, too.
How to separate past emotions from past events: Enter the Stillness
using the Here & Now method and silently instruct the mind to enter its
subconscious and separate that emotion from that event. Then, completely
let go of all thoughts and re-enter deeply into the Stillness for as
long as possible. Next time, recall the particular event. If your mind
still recalls the painful emotion to some degree, exercise the method
again until you are completely free from the associated emotion. If you
still feel the need to neutralize the emotion itself, see instructions
in Chapter Two of this book.
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Meditate To Express Love And Forgiveness
Q: How can we use the meditation to express love and to forgive others?
A: In order to forgive someone, we would first need to declare our
intention to ourselves: we are ready to open our heart to forgive. Next,
we make this intention known to our subconscious. Since the language of
our subconscious is mostly images and feelings, we do this by
visualizing images of our heart opening up to release the bitterness and
anger we have had against the people involved. We visualize and feel
these feelings dissolving into the vast nothingness. We feel our heart
being light, tender, and peaceful. Then we let go of all thoughts and enter into the Stillness of the Here & Now as deeply as possible.
In order to use this meditation to cultivate or express our love, we use
the same process as above, except we would visualize ourselves emitting
and feel the feelings of tenderness, care, compassion, tolerance,
affection, and peace toward the people involved. Then, remember to
relax, let go of all thoughts—including the intention, images and
thoughts just created—and enter into the Stillness.
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Can We Change Our Own Opinions?
Q: There are opinions that we think we should not have but are difficult
to change. How do we change an undesirable point of view?
A: Changing a physical habit requires the learning of a new desirable
habit which takes at least a month to establish. However, changing an
opinion of the mind only takes a few minutes:
How to change an opinion: Enter the Stillness using the Here & Now
method, silently declare that you have decided to change a certain
opinion, then let go of all thought, and re-enter into the Stillness for
as long as possible. You can test your improvement by thinking of a
previously contradicting opinion to see whether the mind raises
objections. If it still objects to some degree, repeat the above method
to gradually quiet the stubborn mind.
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Can We Change Our Personality?
Q: Many people believe that our personalities are permanent or very
difficult to change. “I’m hot-tempered, and I always require strict
propriety. Many people call me fastidious.” Or, “I’m very organized,
aggressive, and take-charge—what some may call a Type A personality.”
How would a person change certain traits about themselves?
A: While society tends to believe that personality is innate and fixed,
some Eastern religions and many Western psychologists and sociologists
believe personality is at least partly the result of the knowledge,
opinions, images, and habits that the mind has gathered and stored.
Some of these religions even argue that the mind has collected this
information over the course of many lifetimes. Hence, when you resort to
violence in thought, speech, or action, this may be because your mind
recorded examples of these during your childhood with your parents, with
your friends, on T.V., etc. The mind uses information that it has
gathered—information that often comes from misinterpretation—and creates
thoughts and reactions, which we and others perceive as our permanent,
innate personality. It is when we identify the mind as
ourselves that those stored images, opinions, knowledge, and habits
gain the power to influence us and become our “personality.”
To change our traits, we must first recognize that we are not only our
minds. The mind and its patterns are just a small part of us—a part that
we can regain control over and change so that it no longer controls and
dictates us.
How to change our “personality”: Enter the Stillness using the Here &
Now method. Declare your decision to change your “undesirable” traits.
Using images and feelings, present the “desirable” traits. Then let go
of all thoughts and re-enter the Stillness as deeply as possible. Repeat
the above process until you are satisfied with the results.
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Dealing With Loneliness
Q: One of the most difficult emotions to deal with is loneliness. Is
there a way to make coping with loneliness easier?
A: The concept of loneliness is closely related to two other concepts:
aloneness and emptiness. We usually feel loneliness when we are
alone—but not always: we sometimes feel lonely even while in a crowded
room. This is because we feel a kind of emptiness. Sometimes, we can be
alone but not feel lonely, particularly when we are enjoying a solitary
activity. Loneliness, then, is a perception of a situation: It is the
mind’s perception of how we stand in relation to other people. Many of
us fear being alone. This fear is created by the mind, as is the
feeling of emptiness and loneliness. We do not need to fear being alone.
The state of Stillness quiets the mind and allows us to feel contentment
whether we are enjoying the company of others or the company of our
selves. The Stillness also allows us to realize that our selves are full
and never empty.
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Eliminating Envy And Jealousy
Q: Envy and jealousy seem like very natural emotions—but they can also
be very ugly and damaging. Should we rid ourselves of these feelings?
If so, how?
A: Envy and jealousy come from the mind’s perception of ownership, of
lack, or of injury to the self. We may be envious because someone else’s
career is more successful. In this instance, the mind perceives others’
success as its own failure or as injuries to its own ego and
self-worth. This misperception hurts both us and those around us. We
need to teach the mind to rejoice in the joy and happiness of others. We
can do this by placing our whole being in others’ situations and feeling
their emotions. We can then enter the Stillness to quiet the mind and
allow us to feel more joy for others.
We may also be jealous because we think that a person—or that person’s
love belongs to us. We often feel this way because the mind perceives a
feeling of lack within the self. This lack, or need, makes us search of
affection and love desperately. In this search, we may try to
appropriate others and their affections by claming ownership and by demanding
from them. To deal with this kind of jealousy, we have to first realize
that true love is limitless—it does not demand or constrain, and it is
not bound or restrained. Each person has boundless love within the self
and boundless love to share with others. To deal with the mind’s
misperceptions, we need to make the mind realize and experience
self-completeness. We can do this through the Stillness—the Stillness
allows us to realize our own completeness and love within us.
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The Pain Of Another’s Silence
Q: In an argument with friends and family members, I often feel the
most bothered when the other person is silent, or appears indifferent.
This silence can sometimes hurt, frustrate, and anger me even more than
conversation. Does this have to do with the mind?
A: Think of some past arguments that you’ve had where you were angry
first. There was probably a point in the argument where the other person
became angry, too, and then stopped speaking and turned away from you.
How did this make you feel? How did you react?
Silence is a powerful and often-used weapon in relationships—both
consciously and unconsciously. Here, we need to understand what is
happening on the level of the mind on both sides of the argument. In the
example above, you probably approached the other person. The other
person’s silence can often be scary because it is a kind of rejection.
Our mind fears rejection, so we approach the other person. Or, you might
have reacted by retaliating with your own silence. Why? When we use
silence as a weapon, we are often using it to punish other people, to
reject them, to make them speak first, to make them come to us. It is a
subtle way to gain control and power during interaction with others.
However, remember that this manipulation is a trick of the mind. The
mind wants control and power because it often feels helpless and needy.
A person using silence as a weapon may not be intentionally doing so—the
person may not be able to help it because the mind is in control; it is
in autopilot. The mind feels fear, panic, and neediness and then reacts
to comfort itself by trying to draw comfort out of the other person. And
either the other person relents or begins another cycle of the power
struggle.
Both people involved in this conversation are trapped in this cycle
because of their minds and their minds’ control over their emotions and
actions. The cycle can only stop when one person stops reacting with
the mind. And one can only stop reacting with the mind when one realizes
a Stillness and completeness inside.
There is another kind of silence that can be extremely devastating: the
end of an intense relationship without explanation. The human mind has a
dire need for explanation when it comes to emotional and pride injuries.
It needs and seeks one that comforts and eases the pain. The dead
silence at the end of a relationship can cause the mind to react by
accusing the other person or by accusing the self. Given enough time to
writhe, the mind can eventually proceed to feelings and actions of
violence to the self or others. Perhaps we shouldn’t focus on the way in
which a relationship ends but on the fact that it has ended instead.
Relationships must end when they are destined to end. How a relationship
ends is a manifestation of that destined ending at that time. We must
ask the mind to let go of its need for explanation and justification so
that we can move on and be at peace with our past because, sometimes, we
may never get that explanation.
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That’s It—Period
Q: Once I stepped out of a pagoda, I heard a beggar’s pleading so I
immediately pulled some money out of my pocket. Then I looked at him. He
appeared to be a healthy young man. I was surprised and wondered whether
I should give the money to him. Why? Why not? What if I don’t? Or if I
do, would I be an “enabler”? Would he be laughing at me for being so
gullible? My mind kept on wondering… How should I have handled the
situation?
A: It’s not our goal to decipher the philosophical pros and cons of the
act of charity; instead, our goal here is to understand and simplify the
mind. If you instinctually want to give, then just give without a qualm.
If not, put the money back into your pocket. Your mind should only know,
“I see and hear the begging, and I want to give.” That’s it—period. We
halt this mind from automatically analyzing, judging, examining, and
criticizing. Furthermore, should you decide to give your money to
someone, once the money leaves your hands, that’s the end of it—period.
Don’t concern your mind with whether or not the money is being used
according to your liking. Perhaps we should think of loans in the same
way: once things leave our hands—whether it is money or possessions—it
should no longer be our minds’ concern.
Of course, when we think it is necessary to analyze, judge, examine, or
criticize, we can allow the mind to perform these tasks, but only with
inner peace. If we allow the mind to habitually and automatically
analyze, judge, and criticize, the mind is our master. When the mind is
the master, we will find ourselves feeling emotions and reacting according
to the (mis)interpretations created by this chaotic mind.
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I’m Right. You’re Wrong!
Q: When others impose their opinions on us, how should we handle
ourselves?
A: An opinion is nothing but just that—an opinion. It is always the
“truth” to the one who states it. This person has the right to believe
in this “truth,” though. That much, we must respect. If we do not agree
with the opinion, simply avoid debating; such action indicates a
possible underlying inner struggle called the “you are wrong and I am
right” stand-point. True peace is not only avoiding debate externally,
but also avoiding it internally. Even if you can remain silent
outwardly, be careful that your mind is not arguing and saying “I’m
right; you’re wrong” all the while.
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The Arts Of Being Non-Reactive, Being Silent,
Listening, And Being At
Peace
Q: What is true listening and true silence? How do we achieve these and
true peace?
A: These arts are all different sides to the same goal and method:
Stillness. You may read each as sepa-rate practices, but understand that
they all work together to attempt at the same thing. Also, each practice
naturally leads to the others.
The art of being non-reactive: Non-reacting is the act of making
intentional actions and inactions instead of just reacting automatically
to what our senses and mind perceive. Because our mind has a
long-established habit of reacting, we need to be aware whenever these
reactions take place. Thoughts provoke feelings, and then feelings pro-voke
actions. When the mind is about to manifest thoughts and feelings in a
reacting manner, we should enter the Stillness to neutralize the mind’s
habitual reacting.
The art of being silent is being able to keep si-lent both externally
and internally. This means that our mind is in a state of wordlessness
without hold-ing any opinion or concept and without any need to
converse. But when is it necessary to be silent? It is necessary when
there is a chance that our talking may cause pain or may NOT bring peace
and hap-piness to others. We should be silent even when we believe that
what we have to say “should” be said because it is “right” and
“necessary.” This belief, which is only our personal opinion, is not
necessar-ily “right” to the person to whom we are talking. We should
also evaluate our reasons for wanting to talk: Did the person ask for
our advice, or do we just have a need to give advice or to lecture? The
safest and probably most helpful thing to do is to listen in Stillness
with an open heart, to practice the art of listening.
The art of listening is to listen to others atten-tively and in
Stillness: the mind stays fully open without arguing, reacting,
analyzing, forming con-clusions or seeking solutions. We may silently
bless the speaker with peace while listening with full attention. We
listen to both the spoken and unspoken messages as well as the silence
behind them. This is how we connect with others. When we listen to
someone in this way, the compassion, tolerance, and Stillness within us
can reach out naturally to neutralize any negative emotions within the
speaker.
The art of being at peace: Some people believe that the universe’s
operating principles are inher-ently complete and flawless, and we are a
part of that perfection. If the mind views life from this per-spective,
it can truly be at peace. In this larger picture, all options available
to us are inherently perfect: humans, events, and things are what they
should be in that particular moment of time. From this perspective, one
will be able to accept all others and all life situations as they are.
This also applies to our inner world. When we look inwardly and dis-cover
that there is a need for inner change, we go about changing only what we
possibly can, and we need to peacefully accept whatever we cannot
change.
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The Mind And Society
Q: Can our inner state of being truly affect our external world, our
society?
A: Our thoughts and emotions are a form of en-ergy. This energy radiates
from our bodies and reacts with the energies of other beings and bodies
around us. When our mind is in Stillness, it does not experience
negative thoughts and emotions so it does not emit any negative energy.
The peace of our Stillness emits corresponding peaceful energy. Also,
when we are not in Stillness, surrounding external energies can affect
us. However, in Stillness, exter-nal negativities cannot touch our inner
peace. Instead, our inner peace touches everything around us naturally.
This means that we can prevent exter-nal chaos from touching our inner
world but our inner world naturally affects the outer world. This is why
when our mind is troubled, we can seriously compromise the stability of
our outer world. If we apply this to world conflict, we realize that if
we address conflicts as they arise, we only address “symptoms” of
another conflict: the conflict of the individual mind. The most logical
and necessary way to realize true world peace is to first find peace at
the individual level in our own minds. This way, we can at least end our
own contributions to the conflict and suffering in the world.
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Injured Pride
Q: When someone criticizes me, I feel incredibly hurt. I feel offended,
outraged, and defensive. My mind argues constantly, even days after the
inci-dent. It defends itself and attacks the critic vengefully and
spitefully. Why does the mind re-act so violently?
A: The mind is probably hurt because of one or more of the following
reasons:
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The criticism is not true. The minds felt unjustly and violently
insulted.
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The mind was forced to face a blatant truth about itself.
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The criticism shattered a life-long treas-ured self-image and pride.
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The mind took the criticism as a brutal at-tack on the self.
These reactions are automatic responses that have to do with the mind’s
sense of identity. When the mind feels attacked in any way, it tends to
lash out—particularly if its sense of identity is strong. Whenever you
are criticized and the mind automatically reacts in this way, you first
need to separate yourself from that reaction of the mind by recognizing
it as such. If you already notice these reactions as separate from
yourself, you’ve already lessened the mind’s sense of identity. You can
then neutralize the mind’s reactions by enter-ing the Stillness. You
will probably need to repeat this process with different situations a
few times for the mind to completely let go of these habitual reactions.
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The Mind And The Act Of Suicide
Q: In the act of suicide, what role does the mind play?
A: Most actions, or reactions, rather, are the end re-sult of a process
consisting of thoughts, emotions, and repetition.
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The mind faces present, real-life situations and then calls forth
related images and emo-tions from past memories.
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We re-experience negative emotions that we now associate with the
present situation.
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The mind then repeats these thoughts con-stantly making us
continually experience the resulting negative emotions. This repetition
builds on itself until the mind can no longer separate thoughts,
emotions, memories, and the present. These all blend together to create
the experience of continual suffering and pervasive pain.
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This experience leads to (re)actions.
A suicidal person is a victim of these processes of the mind.
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The Right Not To Cultivate
Q: I am saddened by the fact that many of my friends and family do not
care about spiritual cultivation. They are so unhappy and unaware, and I
know it could help them—but they remain uninterested and sometimes even
resistant. What should I do?
A: If we are entitled to our right to “walk the path,” others are also
entitled to their right not to do so. When others see no need to
cultivate, we should respect their choice. Their choice at the time
serves some important purposes. Instead of feeling impatient about
bringing good changes in others, we should remind ourselves that the Uni-verse
allows infinite room and time for growth and transformation. As for
ourselves, if we continue to feel bothered by others’ refusal to listen
or con-tinue to feel a need to change others, perhaps we should pause
and reflect inwardly. Do we feel bothered because the mind believes that
its own standards are higher and better than others’—and it wants
acknowledgement of this? Do we feel this need because the mind
disapproves of others’ “shortcomings”? If we re-examine our own reasons
and drives, we may—or may not— find attach-ments within our own minds
that we might want to address.
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Giving This Book To Others
Q: I have found this meditation helpful so I’ve given the booklets to
those who seem very un-happy. I am surprised, though, that many people
pay little attention to the booklet and have no de-sire to practice it.
This is very frustrating because I know it could help them.
A: If you want to give this book to others, you should first understand
that once this book—or any other book—has left your hands, it no longer
has anything to do with you. You have done your part. As with the
previous question on cultivation, we should not let our minds make us
feel bothered because other people do not do as we wish. Also, people
may perceive our in-tentions quite differently than we mean. People may
feel that we give them the book because we want to change them or
perhaps because we want to demon-strate that we are better, or more
advanced. Or, maybe they feel that we expect them to change. And we
probably do, especially if they are loved ones. These perceptions may
cause resentment or resistance in others. Thus, don’t expect approval
from others or changes in others. Remember that all things have their
own timing.
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Applying These “Lessons”
Q: The ideas in this book are easy to understand. But when I examine
them closely, they are very difficult “lessons” to practice in daily
life. Is it really possible to apply all these ideas and attain lasting
peace and happiness?
A: We truly believe that anyone and everyone can understand these
concepts, apply them, and reach lasting happiness. While applying these
concepts may be difficult at first, it will become easier with patience
and a little dedication. This book may have seemed to discuss many
different topics and ideas, but its main point—and most important
“lesson”—can be summarized in a few points:
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First, the mind is only one part of us. We are not simply the sum of its
knowledge, opinions, habits, and misconceptions—we are much more.
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Second, this mind is so chaotic that we lose our inner Stillness. This
is what causes much of our suf-fering. If we regain control over the
mind, we can use it in a productive way and we can transcend the
suffering it causes us. All we need to do is end our misidentification
with the mind and re-establish our inner Stillness. Through this, we can
stop our minds from hurting ourselves and others, and we can live lives
of peace.
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